Worries

I haven't written anything in a while. It's not for lack of ideas or lack of time, but lack of motivation. I don't know why I don't feel like writing. Everything you hear about writers is that you should just write, no matter what. So, that's what I'm doing. I'm writing.

I have no idea where this is going. I only have about 15 minutes before I have to start my day. I'm excited for Thanksgiving coming up and starting to get overwhelmed by Christmas shopping. There are a few people I just can't come up with gift ideas for. Hopefully, I'll stumble across something that will be appropriate.

I haven't been teaching lately, and I miss it. It can be stressful going into a new school/classroom each time, but when I do it regularly, I get a rhythm and routine down. I still don't know if I'd be able to do it every day. That's what I wrestle with right now. I need to figure out my career goals, because right now I'm just going to a job. I feel like I've been coasting for a year now and I'm tired of it. I'm ready for some ambition and growth, but at the same time, I think I'm a little afraid of it.

It's time to be a grown-up, though, and get on my own. I'm not as broken as I was at this time last year, but, there's that fear again. My current salary is JUST enough to get us out on our own, but any little thing out of the norm would be a huge challenge. I know I should wait just a bit longer to adjust my income situation, but I feel like I've been waiting too long already.

It's freeing to not have to make decisions based on what anyone else wants, but it's scary when you don't have someone to run those ideas through. Sure, friends and family can offer advice, but they're not going through it with you-they will perpetually see the situation from the outside. Although, I don't miss being "mom" to a grown man. Even though there was help in the decisions, ultimately, I made them and dealt with the fallout if they were bad. Successful choices were always met with a joint celebration...oh well.

Time to start my day. Guess this is why I've had a hard time writing-there's a lot on my mind. I've got to get my worries in order and maybe then I'll feel like writing again!!