I told you so.

How dare you? After months of begging, crying, screaming, sobbing, talking, kicking, screaming, trying, and more tears to try to get you to see what was in front of your face-NOW you have the audacity to tell me you realize it? I spent two months unable to eat because I was so upset everything that went into my mouth came back up immediately. I cried myself to sleep for two weeks straight. Other nights I couldn’t sleep at all with all the horrible thoughts going through my mind. I told you the grass isn’t greener over there, you just forgot to water the lawn right here in front of you. How dare you turn around now and expect that lawn is just waiting for your bare feet to shuffle through it again? 

You think this is just about infidelity. You think this is just about that other person. I’m here to tell you that’s the least of your worries, BUT, I refuse to continue this conversation any further while you still lie next to that one every night. There is no conversation. There is no “sorry”. There are no second thoughts while someone else holds your hand. Sorry, I’m not sorry.  

You miss your family? I told you that you would. This was not a decision to take lightly, but you walked out of the counseling session that last time because it was just too hard. I wanted a few things and you thought those requests were unreasonable. Sobriety and a job were beyond your scope. That’s fine, but don’t tell me now that sobriety is creeping into your life that you’ve suddenly realized the things that you so strongly denied. Do you remember how you called me names? Do you remember telling me what an awful, ungrateful spouse I was? Do you remember telling me that if I gave you an ultimatum that you would leave and I would be sorry? I dared to do it and it was the right decision for me and our child.  

I will not go back there. You can figure out how to live without us. I have been trying to figure it out for months now. It’s your turn. Good luck!